


Never Have I Ever (Been This Drunk)

by NameMeAgainIveBeenLost



Series: Anam Cara [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Character, Asexual Natasha Romanov, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality Spectrum, Avengers Family, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Sam Wilson, Demi-sexual Steve Rogers, Discussions of sexuality, Domestic Avengers, Drinking Games, Drunk Steve Rogers, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Iron Dad, Irondad, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Never Have I Ever, Omega Steve, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 03:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20482250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NameMeAgainIveBeenLost/pseuds/NameMeAgainIveBeenLost
Summary: The Avengers face down aliens, again, and Tony throws a party, again.The gang decides to play a round of Never Have I Ever, Thor brings that good booze so Steve is officially sloshed.Fun times are had, secrets are revealed. Nat and Steve have more in common than either of them realized.





	Never Have I Ever (Been This Drunk)

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I don't speak for people along the asexuality spectrum, I don't pretend to. This is based on my own experiences as someone along the demi spectrum and my ace friends experiences. The descriptions are confusing because poor bby Steve is confused. 
> 
> This is fluff and feel good and just tooth-rotting sweetness, and way outside my style for this series. Not to mention it was a total bitch to write. I don't like it a lot, but I just wanted Steve drunk and having fun like a little kid.

So, aliens had come back through the sky, _again_. This time they demanded to speak to “_the Captain_”. Assuming that meant Steve, because fuck him of course, he was presented to them. They snarled in anger and said they wanted “_the woman, the glowing one_” and when the Avengers told them there was no such woman… well… things got messy.

Luckily, the invasion wasn’t too big. The aliens went down easily enough and the rest scattered through a hole in the sky. Everyone was baffled as to who the glowing female captain they spoke of may have been but shrugged it off in the end, just glad things hadn’t gotten too bad. There weren’t even any civilian casualties, the only death was an ex-SHIELD agent who had, until his untimely demise, worked alongside a group of fellow ex-agents. These agents all acted as sniper backup and civilian protection detail on the domestic missions, a trial program Tony was running with ex-SHIELD personnel confirmed to have no ties with Hydra.

Tony decided this mission was big enough to warrant an Avengers after-party, much to Steve and Bucky’s annoyance. Oh, don’t get them wrong, they loved Tony’s parties, but their 85th anniversary was this weekend, and they were hoping to get plenty of sleep so they could sneak off for a few days and have enough strength for _other_ activities. (_By other activities, they meant a long weekend running around Disneyland, Bucky’s idea which Steve was more than ecstatic about. Their room at the on-site resort may or may not be Snow White themed._)

But they had begged off the last two post-mission parties, each exhausted or triggered by something they saw and just needing to rest. Plus, Sam was giving Steve _the look_, so really, did they have a choice? Not to mention they’d be MIA for 3 days, so they _maybe_ owed it to their team.

They each showered and changed when they got back to their apartment, Steve was dressed easily in a blue button-down and black slacks within minutes. Bucky, on the other hand, puttered around endlessly. He dried and braided his hair, changed his shirt twice, spent five minutes choosing his shoes, another ten shining them, another ten choosing his slacks (_even though they were all black_). Steve just grinned from his place on the bed, one leg pulled up, his cheek resting on his knee.

Finally, Bucky caught his eye in the mirror as he buttoned his blood-red shirt, damn Bucky always did look good in red.

“What?” he asked, his eye narrowed.

“Ya know, when we were kids, everyone thought we took so long to get places ‘cause I was such a fairy. They thought _I _was the one who spent all day agonizing over what to wear. And now I’m an Omega, and they’ll all think the same. Ain’t no one ever gonna know it’s the great Alpha, Bucky Barnes that makes us late because he’s always preening like a damned peacock.” Steve grinned. Bucky’s lips twitched up in a smile.

“Maybe I just gotta make sure everyone keeps their eyes off you, punk.” He said with a grin, winking at Steve over his shoulder as he grabbed his slacks and began to shimmy into them. (_He had taken to the tighter-fitting styles of the 21st century like a fish to water, which did not surprise Steve, who was still learning to wear men’s clothes that_ “fit” _by today's standards._)

“’ Sides”, Bucky continued, as he buttoned his pants, grinning salaciously as Steve, “you like it when I preen for you.” Steve flushed and grinned back.

“Yea,” he said, as Bucky turned, slipping between Steve’s legs as he slowly threaded his belt through his pant loops. “Yea I guess I do.” Steve grinned, trailing his hands up the outside of Bucky’s thighs, eyeing the older man’s crotch as Bucky finished clasping the belt. Bucky just smirked down at him for a second before setting his hands-on Steve shoulders, then palming his scent glands on either side to scent mark him, then cupping his face and turning it up for a sweet kiss. Slow and chaste and warm.

“Love you,” Bucky murmured against his lips when he pulled away.

“I love you too, Buck,” Steve said, smiling again before allowing Bucky to tug him to his feet.

Bucky immediately placed both palms on Steve’s ass when the Omega stood, cause Steve to flush in delight.

“Christ, baby boy, I don’t know why you keep arguing with me about clothes. These pants do wonders for your ass.”

“Thought my ass was yours?” Steve argued playfully. Bucky squeezed said ass for a moment before grasping Steve’s hips instead.

“Damn right it’s mine, you’re all mine. I want to rest of the world to see what they’re missing out on.”

“And then you’ll sock ‘em in the face if they dare look.” Steve pointed out with a grin, trying not to laugh. Bucky shrugged and grinned back, stretching on his toes to press a final kiss to Steve’s lips.

“Come on you punk, you’re gonna make us late.”

“Oh, me? _Me_?” Steve said, touching his own chest and raising his brow challengingly, “_I’ll _make us late? Yea, ok, sure, ya jerk.” Steve rolled his eyes and gave a gentle shove to Bucky’s chest as they grinned at each other and started towards the door.

“I’m gonna tell everyone you’re the… what do they call it now?_ Flamboyant_ one.” Steve teased as they leaned against the walls in the elevator, smiling at each other till their cheeks ached. Bucky snorted.

“You have an entire room serving as your closet, Stevie baby.”

“And I won’t wear any of it for the rest of the month if you’re an ass,” Steve said sweetly until they both burst into giggles.

* * *

The party is in full swing by the time they get there. All of the Avengers, including Thor, who is on-world for a change, are in attendance, along with the trainees. Steve spies Spiderman, still in his mask, looking around sneakily as he lifts his mask a bit to take a sip of something that is definitely _not_ apple juice. Steve grins as Tony sneaks up behind him and yells, “_WHAT’RE YOU DOING?_” getting everyone’s attention.

Spiderman yelps and drops the glass, whining “_Mr. Stark_” at Tony who is holding his sides in laughter, while trying to lecture the kid. Spiderman huffs as Tony shoves a bottle of water into the boy’s hands and he slinks off to pout. Steve and Bucky look at each other and grin, rolling their eyes.

Steve and Bucky circle the room together for a moment before Bucky finds himself roped into a game of darts with Clint (_which he will inevitably win_), and Steve is corralled into arm-wrestling Thor. They accidentally break the table, and each take a shot of Asgardian liquor to celebrate as Tony moans about everyone always breaking his shit. Pepper and Maria sit in the corner, muttering about how stupid boys are and primly drinking their champagne. Bruce and Jane, Thor’s girlfriend who is in town for a conference, are sitting on a couch seriously discussing something Steve doesn’t understand as they sip something that would have, at one point, gotten Steve blackout drunk. Natasha is slumped against Bruce’s side, pretending to be bored by the conversation, yet inevitably able to comprehend everything the two scientists are saying.

There are people Steve doesn’t know milling about, agents and workers and probably funders he should be impressing but fuck it. If Tony wants him here tonight, he’s getting Steve, not Captain America. And Steve is going to get fucking drunk on that Asgardian booze and dance with his Alpha, thank you very much.

So, they do. As the party begins to wind down Steve commandeers the sound system and puts in his own playlist. He’s a bit tipsy (_Read, fucking sauced_) and having trouble walking straight, but the minute his music starts, he grins and tips his head back, swaying. He sees Bucky look up from where he, Clint, and Rhodey are arguing about who knows what, his face softens, and he grins at Steve. He begs out of the conversation and strides towards his drunk lover, snagging him about the waist and spinning him around, making Steve giggle and clutch at his shoulders.

“You’ve been drinking Thor’s liquor,” Bucky tsk’s playfully. Steve hums in agreement and wraps his arms around Bucky’s shoulders, his feet moving perfectly in time his with Alpha, as they always have. Two halves of a whole, intertwined and inseparable by even God himself.

“’ S nice.” Steve slurs, “Never really thought I’d be able ta get drunk ‘gain. Tried after you fell, ‘member that bar? That night I convinced all a yous to come with me? Created the Howlies?” Bucky hummed in agreement, “got bombed,” Steve continued, “but tha drink was still there. So afters the train I went back. Didn’t wanna, but I had ta. Went back, reported, told ‘em I was gonna kill Schmidt and burn it all to the ground. Then went and tried ta get drunk. Drank it all. Every beer, every bottle a wine ‘n whiskey, e’ry bottle a vodka and god knows what else they had on hand. An’” Steve pulled a face and shrugged. “Nada, nothin’. Not even a buzz.” Steve pouted a little. “Used ta love getting drunk with you, baby.” He admitted, sighing and squeezing Bucky so hard his bones groaned. Bucky chuckled in his ear, kissing his cheek.

“Loved watchin’ you get drunk, sweetheart. You quit fightin’ so much, just laughed and giggled, actin’ like my sweet boy. And you always wanna cuddle when you’re drunk. You just wanna dance all night and wrap around me like an octopus in your sleep.” Steve giggled again, high pitched and boyish.

“’ Cause you’re _mine_, Buck!” He said as if it was obvious. And it was.

Tony mildly bitched about the playlist, until Steve teared up (_which he would firmly deny in the morning, thank you very much_) then Tony panicked and laughed, insisting the music was great and snagging Pepper about the waist to join Bucky and Steve. Then Steve hummed happily and plopped his head on Bucky’s shoulder, allowing the Alpha to lead. Soon Thor, Jane, Bruce, and Natasha, along with a few others joined the impromptu dancing. Bucky and Steve outdanced them all, though, when a fast song came on. They were spinning around the room grinning and laughing in delight while the others watched on in amusement and suddenly as Steve spun…

_They were 22 and 23, the lights down low in their apartment. Bucky spun Steve once and surprised the tiny Beta, pulling a laugh from his lips. Something bright and wonderful happened in Bucky’s eyes after that, so he did it again, just to make Steve laugh._

_And again,_

_And again,_

_Until Steve was giggling like a little kid, reminiscent of Bucky tickling him as children, play fighting and wrestling on the floor of Steve’s room until they both dissolved into laughter. Bucky’s face, in that moment, said he had the same memories going through his head as he spun Steve around and around and around._

_The air in the room was hot when they finally stopped, they were both breathing heavy. Steve grabbed Bucky’s collar and pulled him down into a kiss that ended in a chuckle, lips shaking against each other as they both laughed. Bucky smiled down at him in adoration and wonder, his eyes bright and hands gripping Steve about the waist._

In the present, the song ended, and Bucky stopped. Steve had to look down at the Alpha now, though not by much, Bucky had the same look on his face, open joy, and love and amusement. Steve was still laughing as he breathed heavily before tugging at Bucky’s collar (_pulling him_ up _instead of _down_ now_) and kissing him. Bucky just hummed happily into the kiss until Steve let go.

Finally, long after midnight had come and gone, the only ones left awake were the Avengers and Avengers adjacents (_minus Spiderman, who was sent to bed at eleven despite his pouting at Tony. Steve didn’t wonder if Tony hadn’t adopted the boy, he was acting so much like the kids’ father_). Pepper, Maria, and Jane had retired hours ago. All that was left were the core six Avengers, Bucky, Sam, Rhodey, Vision, and Wanda.

Clint, because _of course_ it was Clint, was the one to suggest a game. Bucky and Steve were both inebriated by this point, Steve nearing epic levels of _plastered _and Bucky far past loosened by Thor’s booze, which he never seemed to run out of. It was nice, really, to still be able to get jazzed like this, it felt normal. They felt like _normal _young men spending the night with their friends again, it was… good. _Really _good.

Finally, everyone was sat around on the floor.

“Ok, no cheating guys. The name of the game is, drum roll please!” Clint looked around expectantly but pouted when everyone merely raised an eyebrow in obvious annoyance. “Losers,” Clint muttered to himself before speaking up, “the game is Never Have I Ever. You answer the thing, or you drink until you can’t stand. Thor will provide for the scary Ken dolls,” he motioned to Steve and Bucky, “Tony will supply the rest. And _no_ Vodka!” Clint narrowed his eyes and shot Natasha a look, who just smirked slightly, telling Steve there was a story there somewhere.

Tony groaned, “What are we, 12?” Steve, still loose from the liquor, giggled and leaned heavily on Bucky, who leaned on him in turn.

“You’re just scared they’ll find out about that time you-“ Rhodey started before Tony cut him off with wide, panicked eyes.

“_NEVERMIND_, great game, birdbrains, I’ll go first,” Rhodey smirked knowingly.

Tony sighed and patted a rhythm into his thighs before speaking, “Ok, got it. Never have I ever been off-world.” Everyone groaned in annoyance at the targeted question and looked to Thor expectantly.

Who just looked around with a vague smile.

Finally, after a long moment, Tony huffed, “You don’t know the game, do you hammer time?” Thor cocked his head.

“I’m afraid I do not, my Iron friend. What does this mean the never evering?”

“Ok, basically, if you have done whatever the person says, you take a shot of whatever. If you haven’t, you don’t have to drink. So, Tony said he’s never been off-world. None of us have ever been off of planet Earth except you. So, because you’ve been off-world, you drink and because we haven’t, we don’t. Got it?” Clint explained.

“Ohhh!” Thor said, “we have a game of similarity back home, In But A Millenia. Though it is a childs game for us, a bonding game between brethren. Still, it’s rather enjoyable! Truthfully, I tend to get drunk far faster than my compatriots.” Thor chuckled and raised his full glass at Tony, emptying it in one go and refilling it with the Asgardian flask.

“Great!” Clint said, “now it’s your turn, and if someone has done something, they have to explain the story.”

Thor nodded seriously. “Never have I ever been kissed by the Gredenian Flobberworm of Disobedience,” Thor said with a somber tone. Everyone else eyed each other in confusion. Eventually, Thor narrowed his eyes, nodding, “a worthy group, you are.” He murmured as he took another drink.

Natasha, who was to Thor’s right, rolled her eyes. “Never have I ever had a dick.” She said simply, smugly. Everyone in the group groaned and muttered as they took a sip. Vision mimed taking a drink as he wasn’t technically supposed to drink alcohol lest it interfere with his wiring. Wanda and Natasha grinned at each other.

“Well, that was self-explanatory.” Bruce huffed from her right-hand side, “never have I ever done anything with an Omega.” Most everyone took a sip besides Thor (Jane was a Beta, and strangely enough, Thor’s people seemed to all be without orientation), Bruce, Wanda, and Steve. Everyone gapped as Tony flushed and raised the glass to his lips.

“Not a fucking word,” he hissed, pointing an accusatory finger at Rhodey who was visibly shaking with laughter.

“Oh no!” Clint yelled, pointing back at the small Omega, “Storytime, explain!” Tony groaned audibly.

“It was just a phase!” he argued, “I was in college and she was hot! That’s all.” He whined. Clint motioned for him to keep going and Tony huffed. “Fine, Laura Henderson, she was a few years older than me, I was 18 and we were in the same Grad research team at MIT. We got drunk once and… ya know.” Tony flushed, “and then we just kinda kept… doing it. It didn’t last that long though! And it’s not like it was exclusive or anything.” Rhodey choked on his laughter.

“Tony was head over heels-“

“SHUT UP!” Tony cut him off, but Rhodey only raised his voice.

“Tits out to here, I swear to god!” he motioned with his hands, Steve flushed, and Natasha and Wanda groaned in disgust.

“It wasn’t _like_ that!” Tony argued.

“_Totally_ would have gone back and found a way to marry her if he hadn’t met Pepper.” Rhodey continued.

“That’s not true!” Tony groaned, his face buried in his hands, blushing to the tips of his hair.

“I think it’s kinda sweet, the whole forbidden romance thing.” Natasha pipped up.

“Excuse me, I need to go jump in the ocean, because my _friends_” Tony did air quotes, “are all _assholes_.” Everyone broke into giggles.

“My turn! My turn!” Clint called, bouncing up and down. “Ok, never have I ever…” he hummed thoughtfully for a moment, taking another swig of his drink. “Oh! Never have I ever lived in a place with legal segregation.”

Bucky and Steve both tipped their glasses and took a shot of the Asgardian liquor. Thor eyed them in confusion.

“Segregation? From whom?” he asked. Steve shifted awkwardly.

“Back in the day blacks and whites weren’t allowed to live in the same neighborhoods or go to the same schools. It was a little different here than in the south, but it was backed by law in both places. It was just… what was done, ya know? Everyone knew there weren’t gonna be any black people movin’ into Buck and I’s neighborhood any time soon, just like there weren’t gonna be any Irish livin’ in the Italian neighborhoods, just waddn’t done.” Steve shrugged. Thor’s brow furrowed and he leaned forward to look at Sam on Steve’s other side.

“Black, this is what they call people of your coloring, correct, my flying friend?”

“Yep,” Sam said, popping the “_p_”. Thor looked thoroughly confused.

“We do not name such people back home. Your people are strange. You have strange mating rituals and care about strange things like the coloring of your fellow Midgardians.” Thor shook his head and Rhodey and Sam both tipped their glasses in respect, taking a sip each.

“God, Clint, did you _have_ to do such a bummer question?” Tony huffed in annoyance and Clint shrugged.

“The killer robot and the Ken doll are getting a little too sober.” Bucky flicked off the archer Beta and Steve snorted, leaning his head on Bucky’s shoulder, taking another sip because _fuck you_, why not? The room was pleasantly fuzzy. He could swear Freddie was playing piano somewhere… Billie Holliday songs and smoke filling the air…

“Ugh.” Tony groaned with an eye roll. “Fine, one of you is up.” He said, motioning to Bucky and Steve.

“What?” Bucky argued, “I thought we were going in a circle.”

“We were,” Tony said, “and now we’re not, your turn.”

Bucky muttered in annoyance, sharing a look with Steve before finally, Bucky narrowed his eyes playfully.

“Don’t you _dare_,” Steve said, to which Bucky only grinned.

“Never have I ever… worn newspapers in my shoes.” Steve seethed as he snatched up his drink and took a shot.

“Fuck you, Barnes.”

“I mean if you _really_ wanna switch tonight…” Bucky trailed off, waggling his eyebrows. Steve choked on his drink and snorted.

“You wish, you lazy asshole.” Steve grinned and looked up, rolling his eyes as everyone eyed him with barely concealed amusement. “I was 8!” he started.

“More like 16.” Bucky chimed in, and Steve shoved his shoulder.

“I _will_ make you sleep on the couch,” he threatened, and Bucky rolled his eyes.

“We’ve got three guest rooms.” Bucky pointed out helpfully.

“We were broke, the secondhand shoes were too big.” Steve shrugged helplessly.

“Until they weren’t,” Bucky leered, “when he turned 18, he had a growth spurt. His feet and hands suddenly grew ten sizes, along with… other things.” Steve flushed, dropping his head into his hands as his friends guffawed around them.

“I _hate_ you.” He moaned.

“Of course, poor Stevie didn’t get any taller.” Bucky continued like he hadn’t spoken, “so now he’s just walking around wearing clown shoes and throwing punches with his weirdly oversized paws, all while he’s still 5’4” of pure rage. He was precious.” Bucky sighed exaggeratedly, fluttering his lashes and Steve groaned.

“I’m dumping you. We’re done. Through, I’m going to live with Sam.” Sam snorted on his other side.

“I don’t think so, bigfoot.” Sam quipped. The whole circle burst into laughter as Steve hung his head.

“Rho-dee” Bucky sing-songed, pointing to the man with his hand, “you’re up!”

“Oh, man,” Rhodey said, pulling a face as he thought. “Uhhh, never have I ever done anything with an Alpha.” He finally said.

Everyone drank except Vision, Wanda, Thor, and Rhodey. Everyone eyed each other expectantly.

“Mission,” Nat said.

“Ex.” From both Bruce and Clint.

Tony just rolled his eyes and flashed the ring on his left hand.

“Uh…” Sam said when it came around to him, rolling his glass in his hands. “Riley was… yea. Riley was an Alpha.” Steve hadn’t even known that; he’d always assumed the deceased air force pilot was a Beta. Everyone just nodded understandingly and moved on, knowing how talk of Riley could affect Sam.

Steve just jerked his hand at Bucky.

Bucky grumbled. “It shouldn’t count.” He argued and Steve snorted.

“It counts.”

Bucky grumbled for a moment. “So, Stevie and I used to go to this club for folks like us, right?”

“Like you?” Bruce cut in, confused.

“Queers.” Bucky clarified, “we went dancin’ and stuff. Well, Stevie couldn’t dance real long-“

“I had asthma.” Steve cut in and Bucky nodded.

“Right, so I danced with the other folks there. Well, there was this fella, right? Marcus. And he dressed up like a dame. What do they call it now? Drag queen or somethin' like that? Anyway, he was that. Called himself Mary-Ann and sang Billie Holliday songs and did a whole song and dance number in these sparkly dresses.

Well, Stevie and I went to this place all the time and got to be good friends with him and the colored fella that played piano, Freddie. He and Marcus were an item forever and ever. Disgustingly sweet, totally in love. Not heard of at the time, ya know? Marcus was a Mexican and Freddie was colored, and they were both Alpha men. That kinda thing just wasn’t on back then. Anyway, Marcus is all dressed up as Mary-Ann or whatever, and we get to dancing one night and I’m all drunk of course. So, I go to kiss Marcus on the cheek when I get ‘im back to Freddie, except he turns his head! So, see, it doesn’t count! It was a tiny little peck.”

“Oh no!” Steve busts in, “that is _not_ the right story!”

“That’s the _only_ story!” Bucky argues.

“No, it isn’t!” Steve insists.

“Is too!” Bucky snaps.

“Well, your brain _is_ pretty scrambled, RoboBoy.” Tony points out, receiving a dirty look from Bucky, but Steve nods, taking another shot for the hell of it.

“Here’s the _good _story” Steve starts, Bucky eyes him warily and Steve clumsily pats his thigh in assurance. “We got real, _realllly_ drunk New Year’s Eve 1940, _way_ after last call. Everyone had gone home ‘cept you n’ me, n’ Freddie n’ Marcus. Even Charlie had gone home for tha night. So, we gets real drunk, and Marcus says he ain’t ever seen a colored fella and a white fella kiss and you said you’d kiss Freddie if you waddn’t an Alpha. And Marcus says he’s an Alpha, ‘n he kisses Alphas all the time. And a’course Freddie is laughing and talkin’ shit ‘cause he’s _Freddie_, and then Marcus called you a chicken. So, you kissed Freddie! Right on the lips, tongue and everything. You went red from your head to your toes, I swear. Freddie look like you’d slapped him, then given him a million bucks, and Marcus was almost cryin’ he was laughin’ so hard at your face.”

“I did _not_!” Bucky gasps, eyes wide. “I would never! Tha’s Freddie!”

“You did too!” Steve argues, “’n Marcus was gonna kiss me, but you know how I get, so we didn’t.” Bucky was bright red.

“Oh my god.” He says quietly, “I don’t even remember that.” He laughs and covers his face and Steve grins.

“You were real, _real_ drunk, Buck. You didn’t even remember how we got home the next morning. Thank _god_ you didn’t have work. I don’t think I ever saw you that hungover.” Tony snorted.

“I’d have paid to see that.” Steve nodded seriously, taking another sip. (_he was pretty drunk; he should probably stop with the Asgardian liquor. But again, fuck you. He was all of 20 years old again, running around CLUB with Bucky, actin’ a fool and it was glorious._)

“Oh, it was a sight back then. That stuff jus’ didn’t happen, not that anyone saw. Not then. Now, it’s whatever, but then-“ Steve blew out a breath and shook his head.

“Oh pal, we’d have been killed or somethin’ for _sure_.” Buck nodded seriously.

“Poor kid,” Sam sighed, “I’d ‘ve hated to have been kissed by Barnes.” Bucky snarled at Sam playfully and Steve broke into giggles.

“Nah, you shoulda seen ‘im when we was kids, had _all_ the girls in New York bout ready to go to bed.”

“Shuddup” Bucky flushed, nudging Steve. “Steve had half the queer Alphas in Hell's Kitchen rearing to go. Swear to god, how many fights you get in fightin’ off Alphas, huh?” Steve rolled his eyes.

“And for some reason, I _still_ choose your ugly mug.” Steve nudged him, draining the rest of his glass and emptying Bucky’s into his. Bucky just smiled at him knowingly, shaking his head.

Vision came next, smiling serenely around the circle before saying. “Never have I ever had a beating heart.” In his crisp British accent, not quite the dirty growling thing Falsworth had once spoken in. Everyone around the group groaned and took a sip.

Wanda was next, “never have I ever kissed a woman.” She said in her thick accent. Everyone but she and Steve drank.

“Wait!” Tony piped up, increasingly tipsy because he too was taking sips in between questions (_actually, most of them were_) Tony pointed an accusatory finger at Steve. Steve, drunk by this point, raised a brow in alarm.

“Yea?” he asked, leaning more and more into Bucky as the night wore on.

“You haven’t done any Betas or Omegas; you haven’t kissed any women. You telling me _Captain fuckin’ America_ has only fooled around with Alpha guys?” Tony slurred. Steve giggled, slipping till he laid over Bucky.

“Nah, I only fooled around with _one_ fella.” The entire group looked at Steve and gapped. Steve just furrowed his brow. “Wha?” he asked

“You’ve only kissed one person,” Tony said, jaw on the floor.

“Kissin’ is gross,” Steve stated, pouting as he slumped down. Tony waved his arms in alarm. Steve could feel Bucky tensing at his side.

“Leave it, Stark,” Bucky warned.

“But you kiss Barnes!” Tony argued. Steve groaned.

“’s _different_ when it’s Buck. It’s gross when it’s just kissin’. Like, slimy. ‘s not fun.”

“What about sex?” Tony asked. Steve visibly shuddered at the very idea; his whole being recoiling.

“That’s the worst. Disgusting.” He said matter-of-factly. Now the whole circle was staring. Steve, however, was still drinking and too far gone to notice. Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve's waist.

“Ok,” he said, standing suddenly and pulling Steve with him, “that’s enough. Time for him to sleep it off.”

“I ain't even tha’ drunk, Buck,” Steve argued, even as he swayed where he stood.

“Time for bed,” Bucky hissed at him, tugging his hand. Steve ended up swaying and relying on Bucky to keep him standing.

* * *

“You’re gonna regret all that in the morning, darling boy.” Bucky sighed as he laid Steve on the bed and began to strip him. Steve hummed and shifted, the world was spinning and pleasantly dim, he came in and out of awareness. The next thing he was truly aware of was Bucky muttering about damage control as he slipped into bed beside Steve, allowing the blond to wrap himself around the Alpha.

“They’re gonna give you hell tomorrow, punk.” Bucky pointed out, laying a kiss on Steve’s brow and wrapping the man in his arms.

“All that stuff is…is… dunno, gross or somethin’ when it ain’t you. I don’t understand how people do it when they ain’t in love.” Steve argued, still drunk and slurring his words. Bucky shrugged helplessly.

“Most people don’t have to be in love to be able to have sex,” Buck said. Steve wrinkled his nose.

“Gross.” He finally said. “Just thinkin’ about it feels wrong. Ain’t right. Like my skin is too tight. Like I ain’t made right.”

“You’re made right for _me_,” Bucky said. Steve gave a rueful smile.

“Buck, I ain’t said it, but I don’t think there could ever be anyone _but_ you. Heard Bruce and Tony talkin’ once. They said our perception a beauty is shaped by a combination of our soci’ty and our experiences as child’en. You been with me all my life, maybe all my versions a beauty are inspired by you, maybe I can’t think anythin’ is good _but_ you. Maybe I got too focused on you while I was lil and that’s why I can’t find anyone else attractive like that, not even in a passin’ way. You could, I know you could. You could see Freddie was handsome and Dorothy was pretty. You could have slept with ‘em if you didn’t have me.” Bucky hummed and nodded his agreement. “Well, I _can’t_. You know I can’t. I can tell someone is nice to look at, but I can’t look at them like that. I can’t… I can’t get off to anyone or anything but you. When you were gone, god, Buck-“ Steve’s lip wobbled. “I couldn’t,” he admitted quietly. “I tried to touch myself, you used to like watching when I did, you remember that?”

“You’ve always been beautiful to me,” Bucky said, nodding at the memories, running his fingers through Steve’s hair. Steve smiled a little.

“I tried to, while you were gone. I couldn’t. I tried to think about you and the things we had done, but all I could think of was that you were gone, and I was still ‘ere. So, I tried to think of other things, or watch the dirty videos everyone seems to watch now. It didn’t work, I couldn’t get… aroused or anythin’. I couldn’t get off no matter the people in the videos or how good lookin’ they were.”

“You’ve always had a hard time with that, though.” Bucky pointed out, “even when we were kids you had a hard time getting off unless I was with ya’.”

“It’s more ‘n that,” Steve admitted, “I don’t _want_ it. It’s like my body just does its thing and I’m sitting there like “_fuck, really?_” ‘cause I don’t wan’ it. I don’t wanna touch myself, and even when I’m all excited and up, I can’t finish. I dunno Buck. It’s… it’s complicated. It’s like my body jumps ahead a me ‘n gets interested when I’m just… not. And if it wasn’t you, god, Buck, if it wasn’t you I don’t think I could. I tried, when I woke up. I tried goin’ on dates and to the clubs that are too loud where people just grind on the dancefloors. But I couldn’t. No matter how nice the guy or gal Nat set me up with was… they waddn’t you. No matter if they had eyes almost the same color, or lips the same shape, or a similar hair cut or or, god, a million things. It wasn’t you and I couldn’t get engaged.

There was one girl I got close with, Hope. She was pretty, real sweet Beta girl. She had lost her Alpha a few years before, so she got it. She was the first one I told about you; I didn’t use your name. I just said I had an Alpha, even told her you were a guy and she was fine with it, said she understood. She was really kind, you know? We went on a couple of dates the year before Insight. Nat had set us up. Apparently, Nat was lettin’ herself get attacked in some back alley in New York a few years before and Hope, not knowing what was going on, stepped in. Nat was impressed by her guts and started teachin’ her to fight after that.

She’s nice, Buck, a history teacher at a middle school. She’s kind and funny and smart and didn’t look at me weird if I didn’t understand somethin’. I thought, ya’ know, _maybe_. It had been almost three years since I lost ya’. It didn’t feel like enough time but I just… I was seventy years in the future and so alone, Buck. So alone. No one got it, no one understood. Hope almost understood, or at least she understood how lonely I was, how scared I was in this big world.

We touched a bit, like my hands on her waist 'n her hands on my chest and stuff, it felt weird, but I liked her, and it didn’t repulse me, so I thought maybe it was jus’ a matter of time. I just needed time. And she was willin’ to do that, to wait and give me space and… she was a great person. So, I tried.” Steve frowned, thinking of the girl he would eventually leave, and how he didn’t call her for years after, still hadn’t, actually. Feeling like such a freak, and wasn’t that just his way? Steve Rogers was always a freak, and sometimes it was just a little more obvious.

“We, um,” Steve rubbed his eyes harshly, “we were at her place one night ‘bout two months in, watching a movie. It was a Disney movie, Little Mermaid, she said it was her favorite as a kid. I liked the artwork. We started cuddling and I… I got hard. I’d gotten hard since I lost you, I _had_. But only in my sleep or during a heat. Never like _that_, you know? Awake and conscious. So, we tried, we started touchin’ and our clothes started coming off, even though I still hadn't kissed her, just couldn't, she wasn't you. And anyway, she was sittin' there in her bra and she was pretty. She was soft ‘n safe so I thought it would work but then it jus’,” Steve shrugged and flicked his hand, “it was like a switch flipped and I felt weird. Like, like my body was doin’ stuff my mind didn’t care ‘bout. I didn’t care that we were touching or half naked or anythin’. I still liked her, I just didn’t really wanna touch her.” Steve shook his head and looked at Bucky, Bucky with his open face and soft eyes.

“I felt humiliated,” Steve admitted, “my body wasn’t workin’ right. I couldn’t even get off like any other normal guy. I felt like even more of a freak. And you know the worst part? She was a total peach about it. She was calm and kind and didn’t even say anythin’. I didn’t want to tell her what was goin’ on ‘cause I don’t even understand it, you know? When I asked her why she was so kind about it later, she said sexuality was complicated and sometimes our minds ‘n bodies didn’t communicate the way we wanted or thought they should. She said there were words for it now, but none of them were perfect, she said they all overlapped and where one began it bled into another. She said maybe I just wasn’t ready, or maybe I’d never want someone I didn’t love, or maybe I'd never want to be with anyone but you. She was ok with it.

I freaked out after, I stopped calling her. It was such an asshole move but I got scared. Part of it was ‘cause, in that last conversation, she drew the lines between us, figured out what we were to each other, ‘n I got scared she’d tell people. I didn’t wan’ people knowin’ ‘cause then they’d talk, ya know? They wouldn’t get it, they wouldn’t know our story, they’d make their own and use our names and I didn’t _wan’_ that.” Steve huffed and shook his head.

“What were the words she told you?” Buck asked after a long time. Steve shrugged.

“She called it the “_ace_” spectrum. She tried to explain it, but I didn’t really understand. She said it was like, there were some people who jus’ weren’t interest in sex, they just didn’t care ‘bout that kinda thing. And she said that sometimes they did, sometimes they met someone, and they wanted that with that person. She used a different word. Demi-something, I don’t remember. She said it was like… you didn’t feel it until you clicked with someone perfectly, then you felt it. I don’t know, it was a lot of information and I didn’t understand it. I just thought I was a freak. She was nice, made me feel like a lil less of one.”

“You’re not a freak,” Bucky argued quietly. Steve scoffed and Bucky held him tighter. “You’re _not_,” he stressed, “so things work out different for you, so you don’t want to fuck anyone you don’t care for-“

“_Can’t _fuck anyone I don’t care for.” Steve corrected petulantly; voice muffled against Bucky’s chest. (_The room was maybe spinning a little, he really shouldn’t have drunk so much. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have a hangover in the morning._) Bucky huffed and rolled his eyes in the dark of the room.

“Fine, _can’t_ fuck anyone you don’t care for. Some fellas can’t fuck other fellas, or dames can’t fuck other dames or, or fellas can’t fuck gals, they just don’t _get _like that for those people. That’s fine. It ain’t no big deal, it just is. I don’t reckon Marcus coulda slept with a dame if you offered to make him a millionaire. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. So, your list of people you could fuck or would even wanna touch is way smaller, so you’re just not interested unless you’re with someone you love, that’s _ok _baby. It’s ok.”

“I- I didn’t come again until I that first time with you when you got back,” Steve admitted through hitched breathing. Bucky sighed and kissed his head.

“It’s _all _ok.” He reiterated. Steve sniffled and hugged him tightly, breathing a little easier.

“They’re gonna give me hell tomorrow, ain’t they?” Steve finally said, half asleep with a small chuckle. Bucky scoffed.

“Just tell ‘em your Catholic.” Steve snorted.

“I _am_ Catholic.” He argued, Bucky grunted in agreement.

“See, there ya go. Catholic guilt, it’s a whole thing now, they talk ‘bout it online ‘n everything.” Steve huffed another tired laugh as he felt himself drift off.

* * *

They did, in fact, rib Steve a little the next morning, though not how he thought they would. Clint teased his Catholic upbringing and Sam gently nudged his side, critiquing his taste in men while Bucky flicked him off over the toast he was making on the actual stove like the old man he and Steve were. Tony and Nat each eyed him thoughtfully.

Tony didn’t say anything, though Steve remembered the hard conversation they had a little over two years ago about how Steve just couldn’t get off, not even during his heats. Steve wondered if the smaller Omega remembered.

Nat pulled him aside as he and Bucky moved to head down to the gym. Steve waved Bucky and Sam, who were playfully bickering, onto the elevator without him. Bucky furrowed his brow but nodded, immediately turning back to shove Sam in the side, causing the smaller Alpha to grunt and punch him back, hissing and shaking his fist while Bucky laughed as the elevator doors closed. Steve looked at Nat with a nervous smile. She just eyed him thoughtfully.

“Got something in the mail a few months ago.” She finally said.

“Uh…” Steve raised a brow in confusion.

“Invitation to a wedding. And an honest to god handwritten _letter_ with it. Hope’s getting married in two months. Really nice guy, I’ve met him. An Alpha, he’s a good man, historian, activist, whole package really.”

“That’s… that’s great.” Steve said. Nat narrowed her eyes.

“She said to tell you that you and Bucky are both more than welcome along with anyone else I want to invite. Said she couldn’t be happier for you. Also said to tell you she understood, said she was glad you got to be happy again.” Steve swallowed thickly.

“Why’re you telling me this?” Steve said stiffly. Nat cocked her head.

“Bodies are weird, Steve. _Love_ is weird, _desire_ is weird. It’s not easy to understand. You know I’ve never wanted a single person in my life, despite all the people I’ve slept with for…_work_. I’ve got no desire for _anyone_. Yet I can love, I can fall in love. It’s bizarre, isn’t it?” Nat looked over his shoulder, Steve didn’t have to look to know she was eyeing Bruce. “I can love without desire. I can choose to do those things because I want to make someone I care about happy. I like to think there’s nothing wrong with that. I like to think it’s like playing with your lovers’ hair or giving them a back massage. It’s not pleasant or unpleasant for me, it’s giving something because I can, because I _want_ to. Do you get what I’m saying, Steve?” Steve dumbly shook his head and Natasha sighed, rolling her eyes. “I’m saying it’s _ok_. I’m saying that we paint these things in black and whites and it’s not that simple or that easy. Few things are. It’s ok if these things aren’t simple and easy for you, they’re not simple and easy for me, I doubt they are for most people.” Nat huffed at his wide-eyed face and grabbed his shoulders, spinning him around.

His team sat at the large kitchen table. Thor was lounging back, his arm wrapped around Jane, who was sipping her coffee, still in PJs. Bruce was quietly munching a bagel, glasses askew and bed head wild. Tony and Rhodey were animated, flailing arms and laughing and leaning on each other. Pepper sat at Tony’s left side, somehow prim and poised even wrapped in her blush pink robe with unbrushed hair and sipping coffee, her nose in her tablet as she smiled at Tony's antics. Wanda was leaning on Visions shoulder, smiling as she cupped her coffee, her fingers tinged red to keep it warm. Spiderman was engaged in a conversation with Clint, laughing as he pushed up his mask to shove a bit of peanut butter toast in his mouth.

“We’re your team,” Nat echoed his thoughts, “And you’re our Captain and friend. We love you. We may not understand everything, we may not be able to relate, but we love you. If this is something you want help figuring out, we’re there for you, we may not understand it, but we’re there anyway. If you want to not worry about it because it’s a non-issue with you and Barnes, then we won’t judge you. When you’re happy, we’re happy. Not many of us have a real family, Steve. So that means we’re each other’s family. We may not be all touchy-feely, but we’re a pack, ok? Whatever you need, it’s ok to need. If you wanna talk, it’s ok to talk. Not everyone who loves you is in this room, but it’s a damn good start.” Steve looked down at Nat, her eyes bouncing around each face present.

“This is your family too, you know,” Steve said hesitantly. Nat smiled up at him, small and reserved.

“Ya,” she said, her eyes lingering on Clint and Bruce, “I know.” Steve wrapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed tightly.

“Thanks, Nat,” he said. She just hummed quietly. They observed their friends for another moment, Clint threw a piece of apple at Tony, then pointed at Spiderman when Tony looked up. The boy lifted both hands in defense, his high croaky voice arguing his innocence while Tony’s eyes narrowed playfully. As he raised his hand to throw a piece of fruit back, Pepper’s own hand snapped up and smacked Tony’s. Though she didn’t say anything or even look up, Tony pouted and made a menacing gesture at the Beta boy, who pointed a finger at Clint. Clint, who had his hearing aids out, was laughing as Spiderman made aborted attempts to sign his annoyance at the older Beta.

“I’ll come with you,” Steve finally said, “to Hopes wedding. I owe her. She was a good friend to me.” Nat nodded.

“She’ll be glad to hear that. She wouldn’t tell me much, but she was worried after. She thought she had hurt you.” Steve snorted at the very idea, Hope was tiny and a damn schoolteacher. Nat flashed him a look. “Not all hurts are physical, you ass. And do remember, _I_ trained her.” Steve lifted his palms in surrender.

“She didn’t. Hurt me, I mean. She tried to help, I was confused and not ready. She’s a great person. I hope this guy is perfect for her. She deserves it.”

“Yea, well, maybe we all do.” Nat murmured; her eyes trained on Bruce once more. Steve smiled down at her, he pulled her back into a side hug and kissed the top of her head, his palm hesitantly grazing her scent glad in a pack-mate gesture. She relaxed minutely into his side, laying her head on his chest, too short to reach his shoulder.

They stood quietly for a moment, just admiring their growing family. Their pack, hard-won through years of agony and isolation.

It was good to not be alone anymore, Steve thought as he watched Tony tug Spiderman across the table, laying a kiss on the boy’s mask-clad head and patting his scent glad open-palmed, pack-marking the boy. It was, truly, good that none of them ever had to be alone again.


End file.
